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Let Love teach you what You are.

sterday while I was at work, I seemed to have gotten another glimpse of the peace I described in an earlier post. It is funny how this seems to happen, when I least expect it. Talk about I need do nothing. I was just working and listening to my lesson on my Ipod, " Truth will correct all errors in my mind and I will rest in Him Who is Myself."

I had already practiced this lesson a couple of times in the morning and had just decided to slowly repeat this to myself, between scheduled practices, since I knew that I could not stop every hour at work to put in the 5 minutes asked to do this. As I continued to slowly repeat this, I felt a calmness come over me and as I looked around, everything suddenly seemed very small to me. Again, I felt like I was on some kind of stage, like everything was a prop in a play.

Once again, my mind sputtered. Not that I quit thinking, but the voice that seems to comment, judge, or narrarate suddenly stopped. There was no dialogue going on in my mind. Again, I tried to kick start my mind but it would not start up. A thought(commentary) would come into my mind and drop away as quickly as it came into awareness. I laughed at myself. Thinking about it now, "Why was I trying to get that voice to speak to me? Did I feel that without it, I didn't have a reference point as to myself or where I was or what I was doing?"

This time it didn't last hours like the last time. I was in this state for maybe about 15 minutes or so. It's hard to remember, because I wasn't paying too much to time during this. I was still doing my work, but it was more like I was watching my body do the work, like I was detached from it and observing everything in a 3rd person type way.

Thinking about it now, it was interesting that in those moments, I didn't seem to have a goal. No longer was it, " I need to do this and get this done and then go do that." I was just simply doing. No attachment to it, no thought about what to do next, but just a simple feeling of doing this right now.

It is amazing how quiet a warehouse can be, even with all the machinery going and all the noise in the world when the mind is still. No dialogue, or commentary or a running voice constantly speaking about what it perceives. It is almost as if stillness is the loudest noise to be heard, or maybe more accurately, stillness is the most prominent and all the noise is within it, which is small by comparison.

Ever since that one day a while ago, where I was in a state of deep peace, I have yearned for that, but this intself can be an egoic trap. For my ego can desire this and attach itself to wanting this. I have to be careful about these types of experiences, that I do not look to them for the next "thing" to have. To get. To aquire. To achieve. This is where I really need to practice the fact that I need do nothing. That this is not my function to achieve this, but to simply be willing so that the Holy Spirit can bring this peace into my awareness.

This can be difficult sometimes and it has been in moments. For to experience a glimpse of such a deep peace and joy and then have it leave (my awareness). It can really cause a wanting, a yearning, and even sometimes a demanding for it to return.

I've had many little glimpses of the this, but only two of any signifcant "time" and the pattern I have seen is that they come when I do not expect them to come. When I do not try or yearn and try to make them come about. I have to keep remembering, I need do nothing.

Take care,


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Comment by Eric G. on July 14, 2009 at 9:04am
Thank you Masil,

I espeically love this line

"When peace comes at last to those who wrestle with temptation and fight against the giving in to sin; when the light comes at last into the mind given to contemplation; or when the goal is finally achieved by anyone, it always comes with just one happy realization; " I need do nothing. " "
Comment by masil on July 12, 2009 at 9:53pm
Hi Eric, I haven't read all the posts in this thread ..... but because this has been on my mind lately it jumped out at me -
you say above - >>It never happens when I try, only when I don't. And I know for myself as I do the lessons, I kind of sometimes think, "Hey I'm doing the lessons. Throw me a bone here. Can I get some more glimpses of my first experience please?">>
This reminded me of a Homer Simpson episode: "If this is your Will, don't send me a sign"!!

and you continue >>Hmmmm, I think that I just had a realization. Trying to force the issue is an actually a form of attack of what is. How can I have the deep sense of peace when I am attacking the Now demanding it? I need do nothing, I need do nothing, I need do nothing. This is something to remember. I need do nothing.>>

I thought this essay entitled "I Need Do Nothing" well worth reading.
- found under book chapters on home page -
"Let us go a little more deeply into what the Course is saying in "I Need Do Nothing." Perhaps by very carefully examining this statement one word at a time we may unearth more of its real meaning etc. etc..
Comment by Melody Vantucci on July 10, 2009 at 11:16am
Thank you, Eric---I do like it!!!!!! Thank you for being the catalyst to have me read that particular passage this morning! I went to a 5 day workshop in Temecula with Ken Wapnick whose name was "The Nothingness of Something!" Very apropos, hugh? :-)))

Happy Friday and weekend!!

With Gratitude, melody
Comment by Eric G. on July 10, 2009 at 9:43am
Hi Melody,

Thank you. I'm glad that my babble was at least somewhat coherent. LOL, I just wanted to add this though. I think you might like it. It is from the clarification of terms called Ego~Miracle.

Illusions will not last. Their death is sure and this alone is certain in their world. It is the ego's world because of this. What is the ego? But a dream of what you really are. A thought you are apart from your Creator and a wish to be what He created not. It is a thing of madness, not reality at all. A name for namelessness is all it is. A symbol of impossibility; a choice for options that do not exist. 0 We name it but to help us understand that it is nothing but an ancient thought that what is made has immortality. But what could come of this except a dream which, like all dreams, can only end in death?

What is the ego? Nothingness, but in a form that seems like something. In a world of form the ego cannot be denied for it alone seems real. Yet could God's Son as He created him abide in form or in a world of form? Who asks you to define the ego and explain how it arose can be but he who thinks it real, and seeks by definition to ensure that its illusive nature is concealed behind the words that seem to make it so.

There is no definition for a lie that serves to make it true. Nor can there be a truth that lies conceal effectively. The ego's unreality is not denied by words nor is its meaning clear because its nature seems to have a form. Who can define the undefinable? And yet there is an answer even here.

We cannot really make a definition for what the ego is, but we can say what it is not. And this is shown to us with perfect clarity. It is from this that we deduce all that the ego is. Look at its opposite and you can see the only answer that is meaningful.

The ego's opposite in every way,–in origin, effect and consequence–we call a miracle. And here we find all that is not the ego in this world. Here is the ego's opposite and here alone we look on what the ego was, for here we see all that it seemed to do, and cause and its effects must still be one.

Where there was darkness now we see the light. What is the ego? What the darkness was. Where is the ego? Where the darkness was. What is it now and where can it be found? Nothing and nowhere. Now the light has come: Its opposite has gone without a trace. Where evil was there now is holiness. 0 What is the ego? What the evil was. Where is the ego? In an evil dream that but seemed real while you were dreaming it. Where there was crucifixion stands God's Son. What is the ego? Who has need to ask? Where is the ego? Who has need to seek for an illusion now that dreams are gone?

What is a miracle? A dream as well. But look at all the aspects of this dream and you will never question any more. Look at the kindly world you see extend before you as you walk in gentleness. Look at the helpers all along the way you travel, happy in the certainty of Heaven and the surety of peace. And look an instant, too, on what you left behind at last and finally passed by.

This was the ego–all the cruel hate, the need for vengeance and the cries of pain, the fear of dying and the urge to kill, the brotherless illusion and the self that seemed alone in all the universe. This terrible mistake about yourself the miracle corrects as gently as a loving mother sings her child to rest. Is not a song like this what you would hear? Would it not answer all you thought to ask, and even make the question meaningless?

Your questions have no answer, being made to still God's Voice, which asks of everyone one question only: "Are you ready yet to help Me save the world?" Ask this instead of what the ego is, and you will see a sudden brightness cover up the world the ego made. No miracle is now withheld from anyone. The world is saved from what you thought it was. And what it is, is wholly uncondemned and wholly pure.

The miracle forgives; the ego damns. Neither need be defined except by this. Yet could a definition be more sure, or more in line with what salvation is? Problem and answer lie together here, and having met at last the choice is clear. Who chooses hell when it is recognized? And who would not go on a little while when it is given him to understand the way is short and Heaven is his goal?
Comment by Melody Vantucci on July 10, 2009 at 9:28am
Sorry, I just realized this was Eric's post....not Deb's......;-))) One/one mind getting it together?!
Comment by Melody Vantucci on July 10, 2009 at 9:26am
Thank you for your insightful comments, Eric. I'm finding that it is extremely difficult (for me) to put abstract thoughts into words......however, you, Ruby and Deb do a damn good job!! ;-)))

When I ask myself "who is the me or you or I" my answer lies in what I am not......I am not this body.....not this ego.......not this personality......but something outside of time and space....completely outside of this perceived world.....which I call mind. This aspect of spirit, which I call mind, has a decision maker that chooses between Love, which for me is a symbol of "Jesus" in my right mind....or the ego......and that choice is reflected in my story. That's kind of my simple answer....and I will stop, now, as if I go on, I'll confuse myself ;-))))))

Thank you Deb, Ruby and Eric for a most interesting discussion!

Love, melody

Thanks for a thought provoking
Comment by Eric G. on July 10, 2009 at 8:28am
Good morning Ruby,

I appreciate that you appreciate what I have to say. Often times I just babble on and on what I am thinking LOL espeically this morning. The Holy Instants are truly beautiful when we let go. I guess the trick is to let go and to stop trying to make it happen. It never happens when I try, only when I don't. And I know for myself as I do the lessons, I kind of sometimes think, "Hey I'm doing the lessons. Throw me a bone here. Can I get some more glimpses of my first experience please?"

Hmmmm, I think that I just hasd a realization. Trying to force the issue is an actually a form of attack of what is. How can I have the deep sense of peace when I am attacking the Now demanding it? I need do nothing, I need do nothing, I need do nothing. This is something to remember. I need do nothing.

For I suppose you could say that by demanding or yearning for that experience, I am acting as my own teacher. LOL I've tried my own curriculum, with not so good results. I need remember that my function is only to be willing, not to produce the effect of willingness. I need do nothing.

Take care and Happy Friday,

Comment by Eric G. on July 10, 2009 at 8:16am
Wow that's a good question Melody and since I couldn't sleep and it is 4:30 in the morning here, it is waaaaayyyyyyyyyy to early for me to have to think on that level! LOL now who is the "I" that has to do this? LOL

OK, I'll try to answer that, but it is way too early and it just might just end up babbling on and making no sense. Also I like to say that what I believe today, I may not tomorrow. These are only my thoughts and perceptions now. They can alwyas change as they already have.

I would say that since this world is an illusion and since my form, whether conscious perceiving thought or body is also an illusion, I would say all of it is the "I" that is me.

ACIM has acouple of statements of what the ego is, such as, "The ego is literally a fearful thought. The ego is part of the mind that believes in division. The ego literally lives by comparisons" and when I think about that, the ego is simply a part of my mind that is fearful due to the separation and lives by comparisons due to believing in the illusion of separation. These are illusions of myself, just as my body is an illusions of myself. Is it my True Self? No, this is my fearful illusory self. Yet in a way it is still not anyone else, so on some level it is still a part of of me for now.

There are to two other quotes that kind of fit into this also. "Teach only love, for that is what you are. & Your task is not to seek for love, but to simply find and remove all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

So I am only love. As is everyone. What are the barriers? The fearful thoughts, the part of the mind that believes in division. The comparisons and illusions of specialness. But underneath or inside the little garden of barriers, my True Self is, unharmed, uninhibited, unchanged without fear just being in a deep peace of love.

As I type this now, who is the I? I suppose you can say it is my True Self with some barriers around it. Illusions that I have made for "protection". I cannot not be myself, though I can be unaware of my True Self.

Who was the I that had the experience? I suppose you could say it was simply my True Self experiencing itself without any barriers or fear or separation if only for a small amount if time. But how would I know that? Well I can never say for sure that I am 100% correct on that, but I can say this, especially the first time it happened. It was unlike any other experience I have ever had before in just about every possible way. The feeling of being in the world but not of it. The release from the underlying unease of everyday life. Which until I experienced that, I did not really realize just how profound that unease was. The deep deep sense of peace that I felt. The complete lack of seriousness that I felt and how quiet and at peace the world seemed to be. Quiet, this is what I cannot get over, just how quiet the world is, even with all the noise within it. Again until I experienced the quietness when the voice in the head stops its commentary on every single thing that I perceive and labels it and judges it as this or that, I never knew just how chaotic the mind can be. In that moment, the world was at peace, because my mind was at peace. I still thought, because I still functioned, but the thought would arise as I needed it and then immediately drop away after it served its purpose. There was absolutely no attachment to thought at all.

Another thing that I really found interesting is that the concept of forgiveness seemed alien to this experience. I wasn't condemning, so there wasn't anything to forgive. ACIM talks about the face of Christ. In my experience, the face of Christ is not literal, but a metaphor. I did feel that I saw the face of Christ, but not Jesus' actual face, but the stillness in everyone I came into contact with, even when they were still playing out their story. A woman scolding her child and the child pouting. I could sense the same stillness in them that I was feeling. Like the story was just a silly play and nothing more. As a matter of fact, I walked around the store for quite some time, just watching people in awe of what I was sensing. I might have looked a bit deranged with the smile I had on my face. LOL

One thing about that day that still makes me laugh is this bumper sticker I saw while leaving the store. It said, "If you're not outraged, then you're not paying attention!" t was if the ego was tryingto get my attention and say "Look around you!!! Why are you so happy and at peace?!! Can't you see what's going on in this world!!??!!!!"

Well I think that I have babbled long enough. I wonder if I even answered your question in all of this? LOL I told you it was too early.

Take care,

Comment by Ruby on July 10, 2009 at 1:58am
I enjoy reading your posts Eric. I have to admit that I am not able to read all the posts on the Lounge as I've been juggling commitments and time. I'm glad I took the time to read this one... felt a sense of peace and connection as I read it. My peace moments have been feeling safe and Loved ... a warmth and gentleness ... those "Holy Instants" when I let it all go and feel God's Love. They've deepened since supplementing with Eckhart Tolle's work... just the allowance of my own being without the "incessant noise machine" (egoic mind). Thanks for reminding me of what's important. Thank you Melody for your insights and participation. Love and gratitude, Ruby
Comment by Melody Vantucci on July 9, 2009 at 1:04pm
Very intriguing and helpful post for me, Eric. The question I have for you, but mostly for myself ;-) is who is the "I" and who is the "you" of which you write that has the experience?

With Gratitude,

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