Well I am going to blah blah blah again. I should be cleaning out my spare room. LOL Maybe I am procrastinating. maybe not. HHmmmmm does it matter? Forgive my thoughts if they seem incoherent. I am just going to ramble.
I just got done doing a quick meditation on today's lesson review, "I will accept atonement for myself and only salvation can be said to cure"
As I sat there meditating on this, I must admit that my eyes teared up as the thought "I will accept atonement for myself" took on a life of its own and gradually grew deeper in meaning. Yes!! I will accept atonement for myself!! Do you know what that means?! It means I will accept atonement for myself!! LOL
It means that I don't have to force atonement on anyone else. I can accept it for myself!! It means that I don't have to force my point of view on anyone else, I can accept atonement for myself! I don't have to defend my beliefs or try to convince others of them! I can accept atonement for myself!
I don't have to try and convince anyone else what the course does or doesn't say. I don't have to convince myself what I think by trying to convince others that what I think is true. I can simply sit here and accept the atonement for myself.
I don't have to fight against the Now and life's situations, because I may believe that they are unfair. I can look on What Is and say honestly that it is beautiful in its perfect imperfection. Ahh what a wonderful contradictory combination of terms that somehow makes perfect sense right now.
I just stopped typing for a second and was sitting here just listening to the computer run and the clock tick. And behind it, I could "hear" the stillness. It sounds so big and yet I cannot hear it with my ears. How wonderfully strange. It just seems to cradle the sound and lets the sound be what it is without resisting it. Its beautiful!
Acceptance....letting what is....be. What could be more peaceful right now? It's almost like I am being cradled in the stillness. It's hard to explain, but honestly when I stop typing and just sit, I don't want to explain it, I just want to sit here and experience it. OK I am distracting myself, Got to go.
I will accpet the atonement for myself.