Let Love teach you what You are.
In today’s “Oh My God! I’m Free!” session I talked about the struggle to remain the same.
Most of us have areas in our lives where we experience a combination of frustration and struggle, or what I call “fruggle”. In Michael Singer’s book, The Untethered Soul he writes that in order to grow, we must let go of the struggle to remain the same. I read this book about a year or so ago and this spoke to me then as it does now – in order to grow, I must let go of the struggle to remain the same.
I thought that fruggle came from continually trying to change something about myself or about my life, and being unable to do so. I’ve come to realize that struggle and frustration comes from thinking that I am not as God created me.
The Truth is not: I might be as God created me; or, I will be as God created me if I read the Course a few more times – the truth is that I am as God created me. Our sense of struggle comes from the attempt to forget reality.
The other day I was reading book reviews on Amazon and came across one that so spoke to me about my own condition that I printed it out. It was a review written on a book called The Wife’s Tale. As I came across it this morning, HS used it to reveal more truth to me.
“What an amazing person Mary Gooch is regardless that she has a weight issue but because of it.”
This part can speak to all of us in that no matter what our “issues” may be, we so often let them distract us from the truth that we have already been given everything, and keep us continually focused on what we are not. For many years, I have asked Holy Spirit to help me use these stuck places to come closer to Divine Love rather than using them to push Love further from my awareness. Consequently my “stuff” has been useful to bring to an ever-increasing awareness of who and what I am.
The review goes on to say: “She is indicative of every one of us as we all have some demon that chases us, some fear we pretend doesn’t exist and issues we try to ignore. When Mary looks in the mirror, she doesn’t see her full figure but instead she sees her beautiful, warm and glowing personality that has been hidden not behind the weight but behind her fear of showing the world how beautiful she really is. No one can teach you this or show you how to love yourself, but once you do, there is no stopping whatever goal you set for yourself – they are achievable simply by being yours.”
What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see your full figure, those wrinkles; do you see all those things that tell you that you are not enough? Or do you look into your eyes and see the beauty of your spirit? Unfortunately, we look in the mirror and see ourselves as bodies; we see ourselves through the eyes of ego, which is basically seeing through: “Not Good Enough!”
The struggle to stay the same – the struggle to see what isn’t there. It is a continual struggle to continue to block the flow of God’s will in our lives. We look in the mirror and see the flaws that we’re hiding behind. HS brought to my attention this morning that yes, I am hiding behind excess weight. Why am I hiding here?
Why are you hiding behind your anger, loneliness or whatever it is that you perceive as imprisoning you?
Yet, it’s not really the weight I’m hiding behind; it’s not really (insert your own), that you are hiding behind, we’re hiding behind our fear of standing forth in the world as the beautiful beings that we are.
What am I afraid of? Well A Course in Miracles tells me that I’m afraid of you, God and myself! I can ask Holy Spirit to reveal to me the Light that I am. Or we can ask those dark places to be revealed to us, and trust that Light will be with us as we do it. Nothing’s going to come up that we’re not ready to see.
I did a talk on Valentine’s Day on: Playing Hide & Seek with love (www.sherylvalentineaudio.blogspot.com), yes, we are hiding out from love in bodies. One of my favorite passages in the Course is that I must seek and find within myself all the barriers that block Love’s presence. The willingness to look at our thoughts around other people and ourselves helps us to seek and find these barriers within ourselves.
Our fruggle comes through trying to keeps things as they are, as we see them now:
I am not as God created me
I am limited
I am lacking
I am not good enough
And yet, these fruggle thoughts are just that – thoughts. They are not reality. Frustration and struggle stem from stomping my foot on the garden hose of Life. As I let go and surrender, I learn to be free.
Ego uses our body as tool of limitation, and Holy Spirit can use it as a tool to see us free. Michael Carluccio wrote a wonderful poem called, “My Body” that says in part:
Body's new form,
a chalice to hold the nectar of God,
a chalice holding
Infinite Wisdom and Potential.
I am Light, my True Form,
yet, I perceive the chalice
knowing it as real,
holding, housing Light.
I love it! Viewing the body as a chalice holding, housing Light. Let me not forget that I am Light. I am Light in body, mind and Spirit. I am Light.
I was brought back to the section in NTI this morning on resistance:
“Your resistance (fruggle), is nothing more than your desire to keep things the same, to keep things as you see them now. And you desire this because you desire safety.”
We’re hiding behind our addictions and compulsive behaviors because of fear. On some level we do believe that if things change we will no longer be safe. And this is so because we have identified with ourselves as a body, a form of limitation. It seems that we do find some perverse sense of safety in identifying with what we are not.
This is why ego seeks to keep us mindless through focus on the body because it is in our mind where we recognize that fear; frustration and struggle are simply thoughts. We can look at these thoughts with Divine Love and let them go.
I read a post recently on the NTI study group and in it, Regina wrote about a friend in the group who is addicted to stealing. When they were reading particular passages in NTI about thoughts, group participants asked her what her thoughts were before she engaged in stealing. She didn’t know. They then asked her what her thoughts were after she steals, and she said that she felt safe. It was also shared in the post that she has fears about going to jail again, but yet she is engaging in behavior that could again place her in prison. She’s jailed and imprisoned by her thoughts, but she thinks that she is safe.
How different is she from you and I? We are all the same on some level. This post spoke to me because for quite a while now I have been bringing awareness to my thoughts before engaging in compulsive eating. I didn’t necessarily relate to feeling “safe’ after I eat, yet through much inner work I am privy to the fact that excess weight is keeping me safe from shadows from the past. And I am fully aware that I have nothing to be afraid of in the present, and yet, the pattern remains.
Just like the woman who feels safe after she steals, we feel safety in the prisons that we’ve made for ourselves. And like Mary in the story, we all think we have some demon chasing us. Some fear we pretend doesn’t exist, and issues we try to ignore.
In this way healing is a process. I’ve experienced healing from many patterns in my life through my years with the Course, but as I am willing to continually go deeper, I find even more barriers within myself that block my awareness of who I am as Love created me.
Healing is found in our willingness to surrender to the flow of life. I have been hiding behind my body, and that’s what you’re hiding behind too. The body is a symbol of limitation, separation and fear. But we can choose again and see the body as a chalice holding the nectar of God; a chalice holding infinite wisdom and potential, a chalice holding, housing Light. Oh ye—ah.
The problems that we are fixated on are simply smokescreens to hide from us the truth. We can stay focused on the problem and thus never see the solution within us. What is the solution?
I step back in the present moment and invite Divine Love into my awareness. In this awareness there is no room for fruggle. There is only peace.
A Course in Miracles teaches that we will identify with what we think will make us safe. Up until now, many of us have thought that what would make us safe is identifying with what we are not. Let us become increasingly willing to let go of the struggle to remain the same. We have identified all too long with the belief that we are safe in hiding. Holy spirit tells us that our safety is found in truth, not in lies.
We don’t know what the thoughts are that keep us believing in lies because while we listen to them, believe them and act on them, we don’t hear them. In the present we can stop to hear the truth. The Course tells us this:
Your safety is found in truth,
and not in lies.
Love is your safety.
Fear does not exist.
Identify with love, and you are safe.
Identify with love, and you are home.
Identify with love, and find your Self.
As we learn to hear our thoughts in the present moment and choose again, we come to know the peace of God. We don’t come into knowing peace through frustration and struggle.
As you go about your life this week do not be confused about what needs to be healed:
I have forgotten what I really am
For I mistook my body for myself.
But I am not a body and
in this remembrance,
I am free.
Help me accept the Truth about
What I am,
Let my mind be wholly healed today.
As usual, the synopsis I give here is only a small part of what went on in the 90-minute session. We had a wonderful discussion on lack as related to money and jobs and economics.
You can enjoy it all on the audio that is 1 hour and 27 minutes.